Now Write a Blog Post

But I don’t want to; it takes too much time. And I have legitimately important shit to do. I have to file my taxes to pay for my government to kill goatherds. And I have actual stories to work on. Yes but – if you don’t blog then no one will ever know you and won’t even sell enough books to buy a Tootsie Roll.

But the tit is dry today. Every interesting thought I have ever had thus far is already on the blog. And just yesterday I wrote something people liked, I can coast on that one for a bit. Yes but – actually no you can’t. The Future is here and if you dare to exist in the present then you are already too late. Create exposure. Curate your online presence. Shotgun something into the digital landfill. But for what. The internet is always blackout drunk. Three minutes from now it won’t even remember seeing me.

Welcome to the Future; maintain an attractive blog. Update frequently with high-quality content so your readership will grow. Well fuck you, how about that. Michelangelo didn’t have to paint three chapels a week. But imagine if he had. His output would make my students’ finger paintings look like the Sistine Chapel.

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11 thoughts on “Now Write a Blog Post

  1. Thought your watchword was quantity over quality. Anyway, Michelangelo wasn’t a grand artiste; he was the foreman of a painting crew.

  2. If the writer’s blog is to attract a following of people who will be interested in the writer’s books, then it worked. I see that you’re a talented and funny writer. Now where’s the book? Give me some Colton I can sink my teeth into.

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