Pop songs are the same four chords. I have been writing pop. My chords are fucking/drinking/confessing/bitching. And actually if you play F/D/C/B on a guitar it doesn’t sound too bad. I just apply this pop formula to my words. Same beat and tempo on all the posts. My blog just chops along like an LMFAO album. Lay down the base and cadence and just add in some Fred Colton bullshit as lyrics.
“Didn’t text this girl back HAHAH sucks to be her.”
“Had two beers and then I stared at neon.”
“Many people in the world today would kill for a job. Why lol. I have a job and going there every day me want to kill myself.”
“Man, will anyone love me when I get crows feet.”
Fuck and goddamn are applied in steady measure as percussion. The formula is sugar. I’ve got married men on it. I’m their vicarious nightlife avatar. And you ladies on Twitter: I see you. I have tricked you into thinking I can write.
I could try to progress a little more. Pull some new rabbits out of the hat. Break out the lazy doom loop of hitting publish and waiting for WordPress notifications to light up my smartphone validation portal screen. I should try. Maybe tomorrow. Tonight there’s Asahi to drink and a legion of women waiting to be trolled on Tinder.