Drunk Post: Schwarzbier

WOMEN: why can’t I have all of you. It’s unfair that I can’t. I refuse to accept that any woman, anywhere in the world, has ever been in love with any other man 100%. She’s always been holding back just a hairbreadth of a degree, thinking: there must be something out there slightly better than this. And there is; that something is me. I find it blasphemous and insulting that any woman, at any point in human history, could have ever experienced lust for any other man besides me. For I am Frederick Maximus Colton, Kindle ebook superstar, blog-haver and charming drunk. Please don’t make me have to remind you how incredible I am again.

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18 thoughts on “Drunk Post: Schwarzbier

  1. WOW! Thanks for reminding me. As of this moment, my 20+ year marriage to the love of my life is OVER! I MUST come find you, the ONLY true man in the history of the world. Where do you live again? 🙂

      1. I’ve always noticed the shifty eyes. But yours are perfect. I mean I have never seen them, but being the perfect specimen of a man that you are, they must be. Of course, I only have your word for it. Hmmmm, should that concern me as I pack up and leave my wonderful life? 😉

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