How To Write Your Tinder Bio

Tinder Pic 2

I like vagina and you like dicks. Somehow I think we’ll be able to resolve our differences. 8th Grade spelling bee champion but I humbly left the trophy at mom’s place. Because of that last sentence you can infer that I have my own place: +5 for me.

Lame personality but I’m tall. All the height of LeBron, with a refreshing lack of that “look-at-me” athletic prowess. I skip leg day so my package looks bigger by comparison. Casual misogynist because of Lauren. Swipe right to help me piss off Lauren. Is your name Lauren? Because that would be some truly poetic shit if it was.

I’m a white guy on the fade; probably only about two handsome months left, so act now while supplies last.


Author: Fred Colton

Fred is just another guy online.

27 thoughts on “How To Write Your Tinder Bio”

  1. Dude, I don’t have Tinder (and wouldn’t, especially around here) but if I ever did, I’d be stealing that myself. Changing the Lauren name though. So at least there is that.

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