Woman #756 I’d Like To Sleep With

Time to write. Too bad the biggest ass in the city is five feet to my left. I’m in the café. So is she. She’s in a sundress and has a large book of Buddhist teachings that she’s not reading. Maybe she’s like me and just carries books around as a prop to look smart. She’s on her phone. I hate whoever it is she’s texting. The hypothetical existence of a male that she may be interested in makes me angry. And if it’s another girl she’s texting then I hate her for sucking up Sundress’s attention so that she doesn’t notice me.

She does have very large teeth but… that ass. This is rare in Asia. Which is why I came to Asia, to this little mountain suburb town. In pursuit of voluminous output. To go into a Batman Begins exile and come out with a beard and five thousand pages. And today I came to the café with a turbocharged willpower, ready to crush it, and then Sundress sat down. Now how the fuck am I going to write some brilliant shit. I hate being a man. I have a Tom Brady sex drive that just doesn’t fade. I should have jacked it before I left the villa but, hey who am I kidding, it’s not like that would have really helped.

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