Praise for “Fatal”

Capture 4

My new story, the drone-and-bullet festival Fatal, has been out for a day. It follows Marine-turned-vigilante Pace Warner as he hunts a warlord in South Sudan. Here’s what the reviews are saying:

“If God slapped his dick on a keyboard, Fatal would be the result.”

-Pope Francis, Bishop of Rome

Fatal is a very quick read. I think if it were a president it would be JFK. Short-lived but so, so appealing.”

-Barack Obama, 44th US President

“Well this story will probably be a movie and I’m fucking upset that I can’t play Pace Warner in it. Because I’ve already blown my action load playing James Bond. Tonight I’m having a drink and wondering why bad things happen to decent people.”

-Daniel Craig, British film actor

“I just finished Fatal and I have to admit, Fred Colton captured the story of my Juba mission perfectly. The action was desperate and relentless, and the details were impeccable. It’s like he was right there with me the whole time. Which unsettles me, the more I think about it… I mean, I never fucking saw him, not once.”

-Pace Warner, Marine-turned-vigilante and protagonist of Fatal

“You know when you throw a sixty-yard touchdown pass to Gronk in double coverage and he scores? Well the vicarious thrills found in Fatal feel even better than that. I don’t know why the hell I’ve been wasting my time on the football field all these years. I feel very lost right now.”

-Tom Brady, Quarterback, New England Patriots

“Monumental… in a world where no one can write anything longer than 140 characters, Fred Colton has exploded all previously-known boundaries of possibility by writing a story with 86,000 of them.”

-Vicky Sampson, Fordham University undergraduate student and (rejected) Kirkus Reviews internship candidate

“Pace Warner fires so many bullets in this story that I’ve still got a huge throbbing erection, thirty-six hours after finishing it. Thirty-six hours! And I’m enjoying the erection so much I have decided to not seek medical attention.”

-Wayne LaPierre, Executive Vice-President, National Rifle Association

“What the fuck is an eBook?”

-Jenna, Fred Colton’s nineteen year-old sister, upon hearing of her brother’s “book” release.

***

Fatal

Fred’s Other Blog

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10 thoughts on “Praise for “Fatal”

  1. You’re so full of yourself it’s amusing.. You should take all of these reviews amped make them into a book, it’s hysterical.. You forgot one… The reason the caveman invented the wheel was because of “Fatal” it inspired them millions of years ago to be productive

    Sent from my iPad

    >

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