Humor is a superpower. So is money and so is height. So is being white and so is wearing a suit. I have the height and the white and the suits. And compared to Foxconn laborers I have the money. But I can’t make people laugh, not in person. This is distressing. So really I’m just a suit mannequin, which is why she’ll take me home. Then she says: You’re not funny, but you try, so it’s cute. Shit, I didn’t think anyone noticed the effort. Nothing burns quite like being caught trying. OK, focus on the positives. Cute, she said cute. But it’s only cute because I’m also youthful. So thank Christ that’s going to last forever.