New Year’s Fucking Eve. Big night out in Seoul ahead of me. Gotta get my social skills warmed up for this rooftop party. Though it’s not like I really need them, because we’ll be drinking. Mostly I just feel insane pressure to not look stupid in the Facebook pictures. Parties last forever online. Fred the… Read More The Year of The Monkey
I. Culturally insensitive and sexually unavailable; I had no business being in Bangkok. But still, we had seven weeks off for Chinese New Year. You gotta spend them somewhere. Thailand is cheap and it’s right there and so it practically just sucks you down into it. We flew in and found not much besides temples… Read More Big Night Out: Thailand Edition
Today’s mood: perfect. Just relaxed enough to not push Korean kids in front of a bus, just dissatisfied enough with my existence to write something. The sweet spot. Christmas. A Korean colleague proudly presented me some hand cream. Apparently it was some top-shelf shit that her husband got from the masseuses at his spa. Military… Read More Time Capsule: Christmas Day
Today I flipped over a desk at work and if you’ve never done so, then do so, it’s therapeutic. It’s Christmas Eve and I’m at middle school. Annual tests have concluded and there’s no reason for any of us to be here except for the fact that Koreans are addicted to work. I told… Read More On Violence
He trafficked in observations, died hungry.
I. 2012. I flew from Shanghai to JFK with three thousand dollars in my pocket. In China that money could have floated me until Armageddon. But get off the plane in America with three thousand dollars and you might as well have zero. Every second you sit in the First World more of your cash… Read More The American Workplace: Ruby Tuesday
^^This happened in yesterday’s post. If more than five people read it, there will definitely be a typo. Thanks for finding it Colleen.
Well this weekend there was Star Wars, and Wall Street weasel Martin Shkreli went to jail, and I went to my girlfriend’s burlesque show Friday night and got a lap dance on stage. My first one ever, because I fail to see the logic in paying to not touch someone. I’ve never been to a… Read More What’s Up Man
Star Wars dropped a day early in Korea, and I live in Korea. Among modern life’s sweetest pleasures is seeing a Big Movie slightly before everyone else. Imagining they’re all impressed with you and they’re thinking: wow he saw this cool movie before I did, he must be really cool by association. When in actuality… Read More A Star Wars: The Force Awakens Review With Pretty Much Nothing But Spoilers
Good evening. I’m trying to summon the disrespect necessary to bail on my professional obligations tomorrow. After work I have to go with my school to see The motherfucking Nutcracker in Seoul. I was in The Nutcracker three times when I was a kid, because I took ballet, because I never didn’t like girls.… Read More Ahhhh Fuck
Blame the weak winter sun and lack of Vitamin D for how much I despise the dumb kids this week. Two years we’ve been working on the past tense. They all still say: yesterday, I riding the bike. In Korea it’s legitimately impossible to fail English. Gentleman’s Cs for all. One time I said… Read More Graduate School Personal Statement
Well maybe this actually started in California in 2009. At my Bible college we signed a contract vowing we wouldn’t drink or have sex. Or dance. A Big Night Out in La Mirada, CA was when you drove to the swing dance club in Whittier and hoped no one found out. Upon graduation Lauren left… Read More Big Night Out: Beijing Edition
Originally posted on Conceited Crusade:
Right up there with persistent writer’s block. fredcolton.com
I want to fit in without being just like everyone else. Or maybe I’d like to be just like everyone else, but also slightly superior to them. That’s it. Also I’d like to be effortlessly great at most things.
I live in the city of Incheon. Incheon is directly next to Seoul. Incheon is the onramp MacArthur used to invade Seoul. But it’s not Seoul. The view from my villa window is a rusty tin shed straight out of apartheid South Africa. Ladyfolk I squire home wake up in a panic because they think… Read More The Tipping Point
But whenever I write something and think it’s good, it’s always not good when I go back to it an hour later. There are no exceptions to this. When you write you’re forever in a blind spot. Writing is the worst thing you could ever do.
I do like getting very sick in 24-hour increments. Good excuse to sleep hard like it’s a sport. Not write and not exercise. On a normal day if I don’t do these things I feel myself calcifying and feel death seeping in. But being sick makes the break OK. I like the surge of resurrection… Read More Sick Day