Huge Fucking Aliens

Damn,Gordon Flanders is back! You guys gotta dig this new short story he wrote about an alien invasion.

Conceited Crusade

Juan was a man of business who wore a midnight blue Brooks Brothers suit and had his initials stitched into the cuffs of his shirt.

Juan was prepared for a lot of things; out of the way things even. Climate change, the uprising of the lower classes, Juan was even prepared for a global epidemic. He took Krav Maga classes and he did Crossfit. Zombies didn’t worry him. Juan was comfortable with serving sentient robots in almost any capacity. He was prepared for his own death.

Juan was prepared for almost anything, but he had pretty much ruled out weird as fuck, enormous aliens, which was a real shame because before any of those things happened, those things that Juan was prepared to be so smug about being prepared for, some weird ass fucking aliens just came out of the sky and started chasing people around willy fucking nilly.

“Oh Jesus Christ!”…

View original post 690 more words

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