Coping Mechanisms


Some amusing shit has gone down in Vietnam. Ran into a Chinese guy in the hotel elevator who was picking up his Vietnamese mail-order bride. Didn’t even try to hide it; he told me that’s what she was. And also our scooter broke down last night so a local dude pushed us back to the hotel by riding behind me and periodically kicking my exhaust pipe. It’s a cheap-ass country but I’m blowing more scratch than I expected. I fall for dumb tourist traps, but I let myself fall into them because I have a soft spot for hustlers and poor people.

How it works on vacation is you have more time to brood. Being in a new place does nothing to change your thoughts. Travel is just another drug you do to forget about the shit in your life you haven’t figured out yet. Helps if you stack up the diversions: for example, being buzzed on a foreign street is nice. The shit I need to figure out what to do with my life because teaching, which is all I’m qualified to do. Well actually that’s not true: I’m qualified to write, but I’m a high-minded douche and will only write what’s real. The phrase “SEO friendly copy” makes me want to choke someone. As does the word copy, used in that context.

Basically I’m looking for something that doesn’t exist, which is a way to make stupid amounts of money by doing something that is not a regular job, and is also not something all eight billion people on Earth are already trying to do. This is the sole dilemma that underpins most of my frustration and insanity.

Realized today that I hadn’t yelled at anyone since I stopped teaching, I’ve just been cramming everything in. You can’t do that. It’s good to let it out, be a cunt. The budget airline we took to get here dicked us out of four hundred dollars and even though I know we didn’t have a shot in hell of getting the money back it felt good to call the customer service line and shout at people with accents for two hours. They’re not allowed to hang up on you but I stayed on the line until they did. Worth all four hundred dollars. I’ll do it again. Because I have a soft spot for all hustlers and poor people, except for those who work in call centers.


5 thoughts on “Coping Mechanisms

  1. Aye, it’s good to let it out. Scream into the wilderness if you must. I have a soft spot for hustlers and poor people and I didn’t even realise until I read this. Great post, especially your last line. Gave me a right chuckle.

  2. My acupuncturist would say let the moment be and you’ll figure it out. (Advice i find tough to follow sometimes myself). I absolutely hate ‘copy’ and the people associated with it. And I don’t allow myself to ‘hate’ many things. Pity the ones in call centres too, mate. x

    1. Working on it. BEING in moments. This is some next-level shit, I hope I master it before I die.

      I do pity them. I was nice until one of them said “I can do this all day, sir” and that pissed me off.

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