How To Write

If someone else would say that thing, don’t write it. And don’t use the same words other people do. Make sure it’s all gold. Then cut out everything you possibly can, cut it till it bleeds. Soon you’ll have something that’s only yours. The Bible says there’s nothing new under the sun, but the Bible… Read More How To Write

Tough Guy

Keep almost getting killed in Vietnam. Frantic braking as guys on motorcycles with no helmets race me to gaps. These punks with their loud farting engines. I always puss out, let them swerve ahead. I also always consider throwing a stiff arm, catching them behind the ear. Watch the fall, the concrete flaying their fucking… Read More Tough Guy

Clean Living

is impossible here. Gun around this colorless second-world city on my scooter and even with my ninja mask I still taste the gasoline in the air. Welcome to Vietnam. Every day we have to bug bomb the apartment because of the mosquitoes. Canned chemicals. Who knows if the Vietnamese even regulate that shit. I’m probably just sucking… Read More Clean Living

Econ 101

Panama Papers. No bombshell there; we already knew that rich people were demons. But can you blame them. It’s natural to horde money, money is absolutely everything. Peace and oxygen. Path to legitimacy, and also pussy. Women declare that a man’s money doesn’t matter but in the next breath wish he’ll have straight white teeth.… Read More Econ 101

New Pad

New apartment, by the big lake in Hanoi. This whole district is the expat’s mecca. We talk a big game about navigating foreign cultures but when we get here we just make Little Americas. I found pizza, found the gym for the Brits and Australians, found the chilly café for bankers in pink shorts, found… Read More New Pad